Hey, I'm On TV
by Red Witch
Summary: Xavier and Hank go on television to speak about mutant rights. Unfortunately Shipwreck also showed up. The insane companion story to Just Another Quiet Day In Bayville. So that's how the riot started...


**Newsflash! I don't own any X-Men Evolution, GI Joe or other characters I decided to play with in a weird crossover. This is a companion piece to the fic 'Just Another Quiet Day in Bayville'. Just something that came into my little head. Just how did the Professor and the others end up in jail anyway?**

**Hey I'm On TV!**

On a television set not so far away…

"Greetings, I'm Jim Dial with a special FYI broadcast," A gray haired well-mannered newscaster spoke clearly from his chair. "Tonight we discuss a controversial topic: Mutants in America. With us in the studio tonight are four experts on the subject with a unique perspective. First on my left is Professor Charles Xavier, founder of the Xavier Institute for Gifted Children and leader of the X-Men. With him is another X-Man and instructor, Mr. Henry 'Beast' McCoy."

"Technically it's Dr. McCoy, Jim," Hank looked very dapper in his suit. "I've been working on my doctorate for years in addition to my teaching credentials. I simply chose teaching as a profession. I almost became a plastic surgeon. I certainly have the hands for it."

"Yes well…" Jim looked surprised for a second.

"That was a joke," Hank grinned.

"Dr. McCoy has a rather…odd sense of humor," Xavier coughed.

"Hey you wake up one day looking like the Cookie Monster's older brother," Hank shrugged. "You'd **better** have a sense of humor."

"Also with me tonight is Congressman Kenneth Shore," Jim continued. "The only known mutant Congressman in history."

"Otherwise known as Congressman Shale," The gray rock like mutant mocked. He was also dressed in a suit. "Talk about having a sense of humor about **that**."

"Also on my right is a representative of the Misfits, the GI Joe trained Mutant team," Jim continued. "Senior Chief Petty Officer Hector 'Shipwreck' Delgado who is the father of several mutants himself even though he is human."

"Hey there!" Shipwreck waved. "I'm on TV! Glad to be here Jimbo!"

"Uh yes," Jim coughed. "Now if I may…"

"Wait a minute…" Hank interrupted. He looked at Shipwreck. "**You're **an officer?"

"Yes I am," Shipwreck told him. "What? You think they just let anybody in GI Joe? Don't answer that."

"I wasn't planning to," Hank said. "Not on national television."

"Yes if we can get started now," Jim took control of the conversation. "Congressman Shore, if I may ask, what is it like being the only mutant in the United States Government system?"

"Well it's a tremendous responsibility," Congressman Shore told him. "It's also extremely difficult. I've become the equivalent of the big rock elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about. I have to show up at every meeting and session possible to remind my peers that mutants are not going to disappear if they don't talk about them."

"I take it that you are against the Mutant Registration Act?" Jim asked.

"The truth is Mutant Registration has become a moot point now," Congressman Shore told him. "I have evidence that many branches of the government are creating their own secret files on any mutant they come across. From the Army to the FBI and CIA and even several private companies are running a mutant database in order to keep track of what mutants are out there and what powers they have that can be exploited."

"Wait, private companies?" Jim asked. "How is this being done?"

"A number of ways but the most common is that several companies are making genetic testing as mandatory as drug and alcohol testing," Congressman Shore showed him some documents. "These results are not only kept in company files but they are shipped to both government agencies and certain other information storage and data companies such as Information Enterprises."

"Yeah and they're a subsidiary of Extensive Enterprises," Shipwreck snorted. He made quotation marks with his fingers. "Who are 'allegedly' 'rumored' to be connected to 'Cobra' a 'suspected' terrorist group. Yeah right, like Paris Hilton 'allegedly' had a few affairs in hotel rooms."

"If what you say is true then what difference would it make if the Mutant Registration Law passes or not?" Jim asked.

"The difference Jimbo is that it'd show that mutants are nothing more than something to make a fast buck off of," Shipwreck chimed in. "I mean people got enough problems now with companies giving away credit card reports and social security numbers! You know how easy it is to get a social security card number these days? Half the time they don't even ask you for information. Look at this!" He pulled a piece of paper out and handed it to Jim. "What do you think of that?"

"This is **my** social security number!" Jim gasped. "How did you get this?"

"Simple, just walked into the nearest government office and asked for it," Shipwreck said. "I didn't even have to bribe 'em like I usually do. I mean, when I'm conducting an investigation for GI Joe of course. Oh by the way…Uh, I think somebody charged the entire contents of a mini bar at the Price Hotel to your account. We think its Cobra or something. We're looking into it."

"I'll bet…" Xavier groaned. "But Shipwreck does make a valid point, such information on mutants would undoubtedly be used against them. The sad truth is, mutants whose identifies are discovered are usually met with hatred, distrust and even violence from not only the community, but their families as well."

"Let's not forget our own ugly past of segregation in America," Congressman Shore added. "From the Jim Crow laws in the South to the Indian Reservations up to the Japanese Internment camps in World War Two. Even the Irish and other immigrants who were **white** were met with prejudice and hatred as much as any person of color. It's easy to say 'Oh those things happened in the past but will never happen again We've grown beyond such things'. But the truth is it **could** happen again. In fact all around the world ethnic genocide is still going on and not just to mutants."

"Yeah people are killing each other in Africa, Asia and the Middle East just for pieces of land that nobody can use and what religion they practice," Shipwreck said. "Is it any wonder mutants are freaking out over this?"

"I have documents that state that the United States alone was either involved in or aware of fifteen separate cases of mutant experimentation," Shore told him. "Many of them were American citizens. Some of them as far back as World War Two with the Super Soldier program that created Captain America. And I have documented proof of normal humans artificially mutated by Cobra. And several of them still live today in secluded areas."

"How did you find **that** out?" Shipwreck shouted.

"Wait a minute," Jim said. "Are you telling me that it's possible for a person who doesn't even have an X-Gene to become mutants?"

"Yes those individuals are called **mutates**, not mutants," Xavier said. "A mutant has an X-Gene in his body whether active or dormant. Mutates have no X-Gene but are mutated using artificial methods."

"In other words **anyone **could theoretically be a target," Shore said. "About fifteen years ago Cobra managed to kidnap entire **towns **and experimented on the townspeople.The military tried to keep it under wraps."

"Because we knew how much other people would freak out!" Shipwreck said. "Besides we managed to cure most of them so they could live normal lives."

"**Most **of them?" Jim looked at Shipwreck. "Wait, is this incident in reference to the recent movie depicting one of GI Joe's exploits?"

"The Valor vs. Venom movie? Uh yeah, it's mostly accurate…" Shipwreck coughed.

"**Mostly** accurate?" Jim blinked. "Well what parts did the movie leave out or alter?"

"Military stuff," Shipwreck looked nervous.

"That and the fact that several children were unable to be cured," Shore said.

"Oh **great **job pal!" Shipwreck snapped. "Go ahead and out those poor kids! You just made them a target for every nut job out there! It's not their fault what Cobra did to them! We thought it was best so that they'd live nice normal lives, or as normal as possible."

"I did not say **where** they were I only said that they were out there," Shore told him. "The public has a right to know how vulnerable they really are!"

"Oh they're **real** vulnerable right now!" Hank threw up his hands.

"It's not what you think! I want to propose a bill that would make it illegal to do any type of mutant genetic experimentation," Shore said. "Let me make this clear, I am not talking about stem cell research. I am talking about the unauthorized invasion of a scientist or any radical on any United States Citizen whether he or she is a human or a mutant. I'm proof that this kind of experimentation could happen to **any **of us! I don't want what happened to me to happen to any other person out there!"

"So telling the public about kids who are trying to live some kind of peaceful life that they've been experimented on is your solution?" Shipwreck snapped.

"Shipwreck does have a point," Xavier agreed. "Many mutants hide from the public eye. They don't want to be exposed."

"We're already exposed!" Shore told him. "There's little point in hiding now!"

"Hello? The FOH, Purity, Cobra, Hydra, terrorists, crackpot scientists, foreign governments looking for a cheap and easy super soldier…Any of **that** ring a bell pal?" Shipwreck snapped.

"And this bill will be the first step in stopping them!" Shore said.

"Oh yeah **that'll** work," Shipwreck rolled his eyes. "I can see Cobra Commander now telling his goons, 'Ssssorry men, no genetic experimentation today! It's against the law!'"

"You do a pretty good impersonation," Hank blinked.

"Thank you," Shipwreck preened.

"Can we please back up a moment?" Jim looked very lost. "Basically what you people are saying is that there are more mutants in hiding than the public knows about?"

"Well…" Hank gulped.

"A mutant's identity is very important," Xavier said. "It is his or her first and in some cases **only **defense against unnecessary confrontation and violence. You've seen what happened in Bayville when the Institute was discovered."

"And we've also seen those websites on the Internet," Hank added. "Several of them are reporting people to be mutants even though there is very little evidence they are mutants. There are even communities in some states that send out e-mails notifying people if a mutant is possibly in the area. All this does is create hysteria."

"Some people would say with registration this fear would lessen," Jim pointed out. "That people could not be unjustly accused of being mutants."

"It also means that many mutants would be unable to live peaceful, normal lives," Xavier said.

"Well as normal as you can get if you're a mutant," Shipwreck said. "But then again I'm human but my life hasn't exactly been normal. So normal is really a relative term."

"Your life is barely **stable**, let alone normal," Hank snapped.

"It's a proven fact that over 48 percent of the world's population has a dormant X-Gene," Shore continued. "The chances of these genes becoming active with each generation increase daily."

"In other words over the years there will be more and more mutants throughout the world's population?" Jim looked shocked.

"Pretty much yeah," Shipwreck said. He looked at Shore. "Thanks a lot pal!"

"Mutants and traditional Homo Sapiens don't have to be enemies," Xavier said. "We can learn to work together in peace."

"Yeah as soon as some people on both sides get off of their high horse," Shipwreck said.

"Just what is **that** supposed to mean?" Hank looked at Shipwreck.

"Well you gotta admit you guys from the Institute can be a little snooty sometimes," Shipwreck said. "That's why it's better to join the Misfits! That's right folks you too can have a great job and a lot of fun blowing stuff up with kids your own age and people who understand you!"

"Are you trying to do a **commercial **here?" Xavier was shocked.

"Yes!" Shipwreck said brightly. "Trust me kids where else can you be encouraged to blow stuff up and learn how to operate dangerous weapons without getting in trouble?"

"You are going to get in trouble if you don't stop…" Hank growled.

"And it's not just the action on the field that's great it's the action off the field if you get my drift," Shipwreck raised his eyebrows. He showed a picture of Ororo in a bikini. "Take a look at my girlfriend! Isn't she hot?"

"LIAR!" Ororo burst in on screen. "PAY **NO** ATTENTION TO THE IDIOT SAILOR!"

"Aw come on Storm, you don't have to hide your feelings for me," Shipwreck grinned. "You gotta express yourself!"

"Oh I **will, **Shipwreck," Ororo glared at him. "As soon as we go to commercial!"

"Can we get back to something more important, like my bill?" Shore asked.

"**Nothing **is more important than making the world see that I am **not** this man's girlfriend!" Ororo shouted. "In fact an amendment should be passed to allow the castration of…"

"That's all the time we have for now…" Jim quickly spoke. "Join us next week for…"

"What are you talking about Jim?" Shipwreck asked. "We got at least a half hour."

"No, we don't," Jim said quickly. "Next week we will…"

"Way to go Shipwreck! Thanks a lot!" Hank snapped.

"Me?" Shipwreck shouted. "Don't you think Ms. Snippy here deserves some of the credit?"

"Can't you control them?" Shore asked Xavier.

"I've tried," Xavier held his head. "Lord knows I've tried…"

"What I deserve is a Shipwreck-Free life!" Ororo shouted.

"Come on babe, you know you want me," Shipwreck grinned.

"THAT'S IT!" Ororo shouted as she punched Shipwreck right in the face. "I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE!"

"Ororo no!" Hank leapt up and restrained her. "Please, get control of yourself!"

"Listen to Hank," Shipwreck said. "Even he knows not to take things seriously. And his love life's ain't exactly on fire either."

"That's it! You're dead!" Hank let go of Ororo and tackled Shipwreck.

"HANK NO! **I** WANT TO HURT HIM!" Ororo grabbed Hank by the back and started to beat on him.

"Stop this!" Xavier shouted. "Stop it! We're on television you…"

That was when several security guards raced onstage. It became a mess and a scuffle with Jim caught in the middle. "Next week…" He gasped while trying not to get clobbered. "We'll continue on our series of violence on television…Does the media go too far in order to grab ratings?"

"OW! MY TOE!" One of the security guards screamed as he hopped up and down. "You ran over my toe!"

"Sorry officer, I was aiming for Shipwreck," Xavier told him.

"That's it! You're all under arrest!" The security guard shouted.

"And to think…" Jim sighed. "I practically had to arm wrestle Murphy Brown to get this assignment."


End file.
